Comments on: The Widow Next Door http://widow-speak.org/blog/2008/12/18/the-widow-next-door/ Fri, 18 May 2012 15:15:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: amy pollock http://widow-speak.org/blog/2008/12/18/the-widow-next-door/#comment-16226 amy pollock Mon, 13 Apr 2009 06:52:09 +0000 http://widow-speak.org/blog/2008/12/18/the-widow-next-door/#comment-16226 Did he not care at all or he did not care about me? He left me . I did everything for him. Nothing to make is easier. No insurance; just everyone telling me how great he was. Why didn't he make sure I would be O.K? Did he not care at all or he did not care about me? He left me . I did everything for him. Nothing to make is easier. No insurance; just everyone telling me how great he was. Why didn’t he make sure I would be O.K?

]]> By: Gail http://widow-speak.org/blog/2008/12/18/the-widow-next-door/#comment-16192 Gail Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:19:35 +0000 http://widow-speak.org/blog/2008/12/18/the-widow-next-door/#comment-16192 The reaction to the loss of one's soul-mate is intense. At first, you are tossed into a world of shock...except you don't know that this is the world in which you'vbe been thrown. The pain of the loss is overwheliming. Then, you function in an auto-pilot type of existense...It's both natural and normal to begin to fall into a chasm of 'not caring'. A chasm of not caring to do the things that you would normally do. The shock has worn off. The awe has worn off, and you are left with a void of numb and you feel alone and...scared. I experienced shock for the first year. I experienced numbness for the second year..and yes, I too, let my home's condition deteriorate...the fact that my husband had always taken care of the house...and my ability to take his task up, was a further reminder of his loss. I am approaching the beginning of my third year without him. I see this as my break-through year...my year to finally see the gifts that he had gifted me with and to found a new life. I know it will be challenging, but his encouragement is in my heart. Keep moving forward. Know that the gifts he blessed you with are in your heart and soul. Keep his light in your life and build a new one for yourself...heartbeat by heartbeat. This is what he would have wanted for you. The reaction to the loss of one’s soul-mate is intense. At first, you are tossed into a world of shock…except you don’t know that this is the world in which you’vbe been thrown. The pain of the loss is overwheliming.

Then, you function in an auto-pilot type of existense…It’s both natural and normal to begin to fall into a chasm of ‘not caring’. A chasm of not caring to do the things that you would normally do. The shock has worn off. The awe has worn off, and you are left with a void of numb and you feel alone and…scared.

I experienced shock for the first year. I experienced numbness for the second year..and yes, I too, let my home’s condition deteriorate…the fact that my husband had always taken care of the house…and my ability to take his task up, was a further reminder of his loss.

I am approaching the beginning of my third year without him. I see this as my break-through year…my year to finally see the gifts that he had gifted me with and to found a new life. I know it will be challenging, but his encouragement is in my heart.

Keep moving forward. Know that the gifts he blessed you with are in your heart and soul. Keep his light in your life and build a new one for yourself…heartbeat by heartbeat. This is what he would have wanted for you.

]]>